Social \ Funny jokes...

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Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and 'cc:' them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a 'spider person.'

26. Finish all your sentences with the words 'in accordance with the prophesy.'

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' flip the ink cartridge across the room.

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you 'like it that way.'

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a 'croaking' noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of 'Sweating to the Oldies' over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

51. Begin all your sentences with 'ooh la la!'

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write 'X - BURIED TREASURE' in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: 'Do you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind, its gone now.'

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as 'Conquistador.'

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing 'Jingle Bells, Batman smells' until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says 'Magnificent One.'

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce 'no, wait, I messed it up,' and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off 'in case the big one comes'.

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as 'Feliz Navidad', the Archies 'Sugar' or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to 'AaJohn Aaaaasmith' for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each 'a.'

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your 'superior mental processing.'

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant 'swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!'

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your 'imaginary friend.'

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about 'psychological profiles.'

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a 'magic picture.'

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate 'crop circles' in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend 'tricorder,' and 'scan' people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

sorry i couldnt do it in one post

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 8,927

Mates: 95

repopulating says:

This Is for funny jokes... not 101 ways to annoy people!

19/11/2006

lol

Kudos: 8,927

Mates: 95

repopulating says:

When is it bedtime in the Jackson house? When the big hand touches the little hand

19/11/2006

lol

Kudos: 94

Mates: 0

pspfella says:

LOL

but the idea is for it to be funny even tho there not really but i didnt read them before i put it on


But some of them are funny

19/11/2006

Brisbane,Queensland

Kudos: 8,927

Mates: 95

repopulating says:

***Not Really Racist***
A Indian guy walks into a fruit store to apply for a job and gets it. The supermarket owner said you only have to say 3 things '2 dollar kilo', 'Sometimes Yes, Sometimes No' And 'If You dont somebody else will' If you DONT say these YOU will BE FIRED! The Indian Guy says Ok and starts the next day

The next day a random guy walks into the supermarket and asks how much the pineapples are. The indian guy replys '2 dollar kilo'. He then asks are they any good? The Indian Guy goes 'sometimes yes, sometimes no' Then the person asks 'Should i Buy them?' Then the indian guy goes 'If You DONT somebody else will!.

The next day after a lady walks into the supermarket and asks how much the oranges are. The indian guy replys '2 dollar kilo'. She then asks are they any good? The Indian Guy goes 'sometimes yes, sometimes no' Then the lady asks 'Should i Buy them?' Then the indian guy goes 'If You DONT somebody else will!.

The day after that a robber walks in and says 'GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY' The indian guy in shock replies '2 dollar Kilo' The Robber then goes ' ARE YOU TRYIN TO BE SMART WITH ME' then the indian guy goes 'Sometimes yes, Sometimes no' The robber is so pissed he asks 'DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOT YOU' The indian guy goes ' IF you DONT somebody else WILL' haha

19/11/2006

lol

Kudos: 15,215

Mates: 205

IAMColonel says:

well ... fiance one was a pisser

.. and them annoyng ones were hilarious haahahha .. im sorry .. but they were just grrreat ..

that last one applied to annoy tip number 19

19/11/2006

Those damn pipe dreams.

Kudos: 15,215

Mates: 205

IAMColonel says:

Okay so a guy is near the end of his senior year in high school.

Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9
years old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.

They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk. As you might expect things start to heat up....


The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper 'lettuce' if she wants it harder and 'tomato' if she wants a new position!!

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!


Tomato!!!

She screams


Lettuce!!!



Tomato!!!


Whoa!!!

PULL IT OUT!!!

PULL IT OUT NOW!!!


I can't get pregnant!


Then the little brother shouts up, 'Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there!

You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*!

27/11/2006

Those damn pipe dreams.

Kudos: 8,927

Mates: 95

repopulating says:

HAHA yeah ive heard that one before. Classic

27/11/2006

lol

Kudos: 85

Mates: 10

PSP3333 says:  

haha lmfao

27/11/2006

Melbourne, Victoria

Kudos: 15,215

Mates: 205

IAMColonel says:

got sent it obut 10 times in emails .. had to post it

27/11/2006

Those damn pipe dreams.

 

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