Social \ Funny jokes...

« Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next »

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

I couldn't type anymore there so here is another 1:

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an 'F' in sex.

------
------

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it.

------
------

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

------
------

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, 'I'm going to try to swim to shore.' So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, 'I wonder if she made it.' I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.' So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, 'I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too.' So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, 'I'm too tired to go on!' So she swam back.

18/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

I couldnt type anymore there too so here is another 1:

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, 'Awww, look at the dead birdie.'
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, 'Where?'

--------
--------

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said 'Oh, look at the deer tracks.' The other blonde looks and says 'Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.' 'No. Those are deer tracks.' They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.

=====

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?'

18/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 3,075

Mates: 25

thegame10 says:

Admin Notice

guys just a word of warning, from now on, any jokes that are either racist, discriminating, or sexist will result in a warning. i will b watching...

18/08/2006

Brisbane

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

oh sorry didnt know thegame10, did u think they were funny though???

18/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 3,075

Mates: 25

thegame10 says:

i didnt read them. but i just dont want anyone to get offended, nobodys in trouble.

18/08/2006

Brisbane

Kudos: 1,296

Mates: 187

JediKnight says:

lol, your jokes are good, i just found out this thread that i made still exists, although i do have a joke,

--------------------------------------------

( a man is flying a jet )
Pilot: Pilot to tower, pilot to tower, i have been hit! awaiting orders...
Tower: Remain calm, can you get out?
Pilot: No i cannot, awaiting orders
Tower: Remain calm and repeat after me, our father who art in heaven...

18/08/2006

Melbourne

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

hahaha! thats a good 1

18/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

Kudos: 63

Mates: 19

flatbattery says:

Whats the difference between a Smart Blond and a UFO?

Their has been sightings of UFO's

18/08/2006

.0.

Kudos: 15,224

Mates: 205

IAMColonel says:

... well that's disputable fb maybe there is suspicion of ufo's or something

18/08/2006

Those damn pipe dreams.

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. 'I’ll have some f****n’ French toast,' he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. 'Well, I guess that leaves more f****n’ French toast for me,' he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. 'I don’t know,' he says meekly, 'but I definitely don’t want the f****n’ French toast.'

=======

My grandfather always said, 'Don't watch your money; watch your health.' So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

=======

I went to my doctor and told him 'my penis is burning.' He said, 'That means somebody is talking about it.'

=======

Jack Benny is walking down the street, when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and says 'Your money or your life!' An extremely long silence follows. 'Your money or your life!' the thug repeats. Finally Benny says 'I’m thinking!'

18/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

Other 1's:

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scount. 'This dog can speak English,' he claims to the unimpressed agent. 'Okay, Sport,' the guys says to the dog, 'what’s on the top of a house?' 'Roof!' the dog replies. 'Oh, come on...' the talent agent responds. 'All dogs go ‘roof’.' 'No, wait,' the guy says. He asks the dog 'what does sandpaper feel like?' 'Rough!' the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. 'No, hang on,' the guy says. 'This one will amaze you. ' He turns and asks the dog: 'Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?' 'Ruth!' goes the dog. And the talent scount, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says 'Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?'

========

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells 'You should have been here at 8:30!' he replies: 'Why? What happened at 8:30?'

========

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

========

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says 'I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.'

18/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

Other 1's:

I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said 'Can I help you?' and he said 'No, I'm just looking.'

=======

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. 'I’ll go into town for a doctor,' the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. 'I can’t leave,' the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.' The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?' the victim asks. 'He says you’re gonna die.'

=======

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.

=======

I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked 'Do you have any firearms with you?' I said: 'What do you need?'

18/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

wtf happend to ur avvy arnold?

19/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

i opened it in photoshop and liquified his face to make it look goofy.

19/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 164

Mates: 2

PSP333 says:

haha nice jokes guys lol

19/08/2006

Melbourne, Victoria

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

indeed it does look goofy haha

19/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

Kudos: 1,296

Mates: 187

JediKnight says:

flatbattery said:Whats the difference between a Smart Blond and a UFO?

Their has been sightings of UFO's

good one!

- I have a few more but i'd probaly get banned

19/08/2006

Melbourne

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

yo psp333 i sended it, hmm let me think of more jokes.....

19/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

i got 1... why did the chicken cross the road? to hav s*x wif the other chicken haha!

19/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

lol slip, did u read all the jokes i put on here, cause there is alot...

19/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

uh i read some of em

19/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:

which 1?

19/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

the funny 1

19/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

Kudos: 4,058

Mates: 71

arnoldo says:  

ur too funny slip, damn im still thinkin of good jokes....

19/08/2006

The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50

Kudos: 1,950

Mates: 0

SlipknotMaggot says:

steal them off someone

19/08/2006

The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))

 

« older 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 newer »

To participate in this discussion, please log in or register.

MyPSP Says:

Polls

Games

News

Listings

Videos

Best Photos

Comments

Everyone is...

• 
  $72.12
• 
  $23.43
• 
  $23.45
• 
  $70.95
• 
  $54.35
• 
  $73.7
• 
  $73.7
• 
  $27.29
• 
  $70.05
• 
  $46.83