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Social \ Funny jokes...

charlie527
Kudos: 1,161
Mates: 13
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she asked you 'What is the number for 911'.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
16/08/2006
Perth, www.myspace.com/charlie752
charlie527
Kudos: 1,161
Mates: 13
Yo Mamma is so fat,
The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she weighs herself the scale says 'To be continued...'
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she sits on a dollar, blood rushes out George Washington's nose!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her belly-button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
when she walks in front of the T.V. you miss out on 3 commercials!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
people jog around her for exercise!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she makes big bird look like a rubber duckie!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she plays pool with the planets.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
it took 25 minutes to download a picture of her from the Internet.
16/08/2006
Perth, www.myspace.com/charlie752
flatbattery
Kudos: 63
Mates: 19
Why was Michael Jackson happy when their were twenty eight year olds at his house?

Because their was twenty EIGHT year olds
16/08/2006
.0.
charlie527
Kudos: 1,161
Mates: 13
hahaha dirty
16/08/2006
Perth, www.myspace.com/charlie752
cqloner
Kudos: 825
Mates: 0
ok here come the jokes

and flat battery scared wierd little guys rule they started that joke

what do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you
(pull the pin out and throw it back)

what do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you
(pull the pin ou and chuck it back)

hows a blonde kill a fish?
(drown it)

hows a blonde kill a bird
(chuck it off a cliff)

16/08/2006
rockhampton
cqloner
Kudos: 825
Mates: 0
ok a blonde a bruenette and a red head go on a piccnic while there a abodiginil [can't spell]
comes up and says hay you know about the bridge?
the girls say no we don't what about it?
the abodiginil says if you jump off and say what you want to be you turn into it
so the red head goes first takes her hand bag off and jumps while in the air she yells salmon
she turns into a salmon and sawims away
the bruenette jumps and says eagle and she flew away the blonde takes off her hand bag runs up trips over it and yeall crap turns into a turd and floats away

a farme buys a new rooster and puts it in with the old rooster
the new rooster starts paying out the old one
so the old one goes thats it lets see what you got and challenges the young one to a race the young one goes ok and ill give you a head start
so they decide that its will be aound the farm house 7 times
so the old rooster starts off and get all the way around the house once then the young one starts chasing him there up to lap 2 when the young rooster is right near the old one they go around the back around the side and past the veranda then the farmer grabs his shot gun and shoots the new rooster and says damn another gay rooster
16/08/2006
rockhampton
cqloner
Kudos: 825
Mates: 0
these two bush walkers bump into each other in the middle of the bush and decide to camp there now one is a bruenette and the other is blonde the blonde goes hay i caught rabbit earlier we could have it for dinner the bruentte goes ok but i cook any way come night time ht ebruenette starts cuting the rabbit and he gets its intestines and puts it under his pillow then finnishes cooking anyway later that night he hears the other guy get up to go to the toilet he sneaks up around thebush and goes behind him and put the guts down he runs back to his tent then he hears arghhhhhhh arghhhhhhh he runs out to see what happened and the blonde goes i shut my guts out and i am putting them back in with a stick
i had to post 3 times but the joke were to big it would not let me post it

16/08/2006
rockhampton
SlipknotMaggot
Kudos: 1,950
Mates: 0
ur mummas so fat she cant wer emo pants from supre
16/08/2006
The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))
cqloner
Kudos: 825
Mates: 0
no shes not im telling lol



jks
16/08/2006
rockhampton
flatbattery
Kudos: 63
Mates: 19
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde replies 'My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail'.
16/08/2006
.0.
flatbattery
Kudos: 63
Mates: 19
A smart blonde and a dumb blonde both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?

The dumb blonde because smart blondes don't exist.
16/08/2006
.0.
flatbattery
Kudos: 63
Mates: 19
Doctor, 'What seems to be the problem?'

Patient, 'Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,'

The Doctor nods, 'Hmm.'

Patient, 'My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?'
'Hmm,' says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled 'Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?'

'No,' sighs the Doctor, 'The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.'


-----------------
-----------------
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define 'great' he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
16/08/2006
.0.
IAMColonel
Kudos: 15,224
Mates: 205
Three hillbillies are sitting on a porch. One says, ''My wife has got to be the dumbest. She's so stupid she went shoppin' today and bought an air-conditioner and we don't even have electricity!'
The others laugh.
The next hick says, 'Ah that ain't nothin'! My wife's dumber - she went shoppin' yesterday and had a washin' machine delivered!'
They all laughed and laughed because no one had plumbing.
The third hillbilly said, 'Well, I reckon my woman has got to be the dumbest. Just this mornin' I was looking though her purse for some chewin' tobacco and I found six rubbers. Hell, she ain't got no dick!'
____

The three wise men went to visit Jesus right after he was born. One wise man was extremely tall. He hit his head on the top of the door frame and said, ''Jesus Christ!'' Joseph looked at Mary and said ''Write that down -- that's better than Clyde!''
____

Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach?
A: To keep its nuts warm.
____

A banana peel and a banana are robbing a store.

'Don't worry,' says the peel. 'I've got you covered!'
16/08/2006
Those damn pipe dreams.
flatbattery
Kudos: 63
Mates: 19
nice ones IAC
17/08/2006
.0.
charlie527
Kudos: 1,161
Mates: 13
a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, y the long face haha
17/08/2006
Perth, www.myspace.com/charlie752
flatbattery
Kudos: 63
Mates: 19
A guy walks into a bar OUCH
17/08/2006
.0.
SlipknotMaggot
Kudos: 1,950
Mates: 0
a guy walks into a bar and orders a diet coke HAHAHA
17/08/2006
The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))
bldnut01
Kudos: 200
Mates: 21
your so ugly that when you stayed at micheal jackson,s house you had to sleep in your own room
17/08/2006
Melbourne, Victoria
arnoldo
Kudos: 4,058
Mates: 71
check this out -


How does Michael Jackson pick his nose???




'From a catalogue.' get it.

another 1 -

What's stupider than 3 brunnettes trying to build a house under water???



3 Blondes tying to burn it down.
18/08/2006
The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50
SlipknotMaggot
Kudos: 1,950
Mates: 0
HAHAH and u say im funny arnoldo
18/08/2006
The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))
Patty16
Kudos: 292
Mates: 20
Momma Jokes:

Yo' Momma is so fat last night i had sex with her, i rolled over twice and im still on the bitch.

Yo' mommas so fat, the bitch went to sizzlers and got a group discount

Yo' mommas so fat, i had to catch 2 buses and a train to get on her good side

Yo' mommas so fat i had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot

Yo' mommas so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday

Yo' Mommas so stupid she went to dr. dre for a papsmere test

18/08/2006
Sydney
Patty16
Kudos: 292
Mates: 20
Random Jokes.
-My mum sez patrick 'why dont you bring girls home anymore' i say 'mum you live 3 hours away and these girls cost 200$ a hour'

-I sit at home, i dont fart once, i go on a date, i got 20 in the bank straight away.

-This Pisses me off,People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…I know where my watch is pal, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? ,, When people say while you are watching a film ‘did you see that?’. No, tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f**king floor ,, When people say ‘it’s always the last place you look’. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? ,,

18/08/2006
Sydney
dragon74
Kudos: 2,029
Mates: 106
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his homosexuality from his parents, goes over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he lets out a big sigh and says, 'Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay.'


His mother made no reply, and the guy was about to repeat it, when she
turned to him and said calmly, 'You're gay? Doesn't that mean you put
other men's penises in your mouth?' Nervously, the guy said, 'Uh, yeah,
Mom, well I guess so.' His mother went back to stirring the pot.


Suddenly, she whirled around and whacked him over the head with her spoon,
saying, 'Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!!!

18/08/2006
I've got more games than an Asian teenager! 390M33-2(+.[____]·:·)
SlipknotMaggot
Kudos: 1,950
Mates: 0
hahaha thats hell funny dude
18/08/2006
The Sewers - (((SlipknotMaggot911@hotmail.com)))
arnoldo
Kudos: 4,058
Mates: 71
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
'No,' she says, 'yesterday I nearly got caught!'

---------
---------

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

--------
--------

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

--------
--------

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
18/08/2006
The ORiGiNAL ArNoLDo PsP 4.01 M33-2/1.50
 
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